Disclaimer: nipple, breast, boob, breastfeeding, suckling, milk…If you could read these without cringing and sweating then read on. If you began shaking uncontrollably and your face became hot, I suggest you skip this post. If you are a man and think its weird for a baby to suck on a boob, then just stop right now and meander to another post. Thankyou for your cooperation 🙂

As you read in my last post, my labor and delivery experience wasn’t all that I anticipated. Neither has breastfeeding fit into the mold I had been preparing for 9 months.

Breastfeeding is the absolute best you can give your young one.  I have been hearing of the benefits from day one and I had determined in my mind that I was going to exclusively breastfeed.

Things started out shaky at the hospital because I didn’t get much counsel and help in how to have Sam properly latch on. When I needed help, sure a nurse was there to call upon but they never really stuck around to make sure that it continued going well. When I was discharged and continued breastfeeding at home I didn’t know what to expect. How was my nipple supposed to look as it “toughened up” as I’m told will happen? What is the appropriate pain associated with correct breastfeeding, and what is the bad pain that they all say I shouldn’t be feeling? How much cracking of the nipple is “normal”? One thing I was not instructed on was that I was supposed to switch positions so that the whole nipple is sucked on at a different angle. News to me.

Breastfeeding was painful. I was using the cradle hold exclusively and he was drawing out only one portion of the nipple and I felt like he was almost “eating” it. Yes, yes, I know…he is “eating” it, but I mean..he was literally “EATING” my nipple. He was eating it raw. I had bleeding and cracking and didn’t know what was normal.

A week and a half after Sam was born, Lori, my WIC (Women, Infant, & Children) case worker (yes, I’m using WIC…wonderful program if you qualify and want help with providing your child with the very best) came to my house to see how things are going. While Lori was here I began asking her about breastfeeding and my concerns. I showed her my nipples and her immediate reaction was “Whoa, that’s not normal”. When she was looking at Sam and he began crying she noticed something that proved to be a pivotal point in my breastfeeding experience.

“Is he tongue-tied?”

Lo-and-behold, he is indeed tongue-tied. The small strip of skin under Sam’s tongue was actually located near his tip and he couldn’t raise his tongue up. What this means for the breastfeeding mother is that the infant can’t suck the nipple far back enough to the soft pallet and so it constantly rubs on the hard pallet at the roof of the mouth.

He literally WAS eating me!

I continued breastfeeding for a week and a half and had developed an infection because of the constant raw and open wounds. I went and saw the doctor and she got me started on an antibiotic and told me to stop breastfeeding for the time being. I began pumping and supplementing with formula.

Today, 2 weeks later, I went to the doctor again and she saw I’m not where I should be. I had finished the antibiotic but i’m still infected. My nipples aren’t able to completely heal, and it’s not due to the baby. What could be going on? Alas! The pump is now to blame! Apparently, the flange (shield part that fits over the nipple and areola) that came with the breast pump isn’t the right size for me. Bah! My doctor said that this is the worst she’s ever seen anyone!

I so badly want to succeed at breastfeeding. Sure, I’m discouraged that it’s been this much of a challenge, and I pray that Sam can get back into the swing of things after his tongue is clipped in a couple of weeks, but by then he will have been on the bottle for a month. If I can get through this breastfeeding trial I believe I can get through any breastfeeding trial.

Stay tuned for updates on my breastfeeding experience!